How often have you watched a car or other motor vehicle park or drive into a spot you know they are going to have a hard time getting out of and then watch the driver freak out or spend time trying to get out the situation.

Usually it's a given to most people who have the ability to use their brain cells, if it's been raining for a few days, driving across a yard or field is going to get your tires sunk in and you are going to be stuck, and yet, they do it anyways. You can't help but shake your head at the driver and then watch as more unfolds while this vehicle is now spinning tires like crazy as if it's going to suddenly launch that wheeled metal box out of that stuck spot. If there is a tiny spot in a parking lot, what would ever make a driver of a van, utility truck, 18 wheeler cab, or other large vehicles, assume they can fit right there within those lines or between the posts/gates that are cemented in. And yet somehow, they're not stuck at first, but then the idiot who parked it there is standing there scratching his/her head as if it's a mystery how that happened. Yep, that's when you bust out laughing at them because it's completely funny that you watched them park there, and now they're not sure how that truck is stuck.

I've watched cars pull over a meridian while traffic is flowing on both sides of the street and they get stuck in the middle of it because the bottom of the car is hung up now and the back wheels are just spinning around. The driver gets out of the car and knocks on my window to ask me to help them out. Excuse you? How is it possible for me to help you when I wasn't the moron who pulled across something that was clearly meant to divide traffic so the cars don't drive into each other. Did you think that your car was a gadget mobile that could transform Inspector Gadget's car into a tank? Nope, not happening, you're on your own sister, go call the police. I got the finger flipped at me for that, haha. Thanks sweetheart you're so awesome and your car is stuck in the middle of a concrete barrier, explain that one to the police, they love a good comedy. Not!
Pulling up on one to avoid red lights and trying to turn around early gets you stuck and it's now causing one lane of traffic a problem because your car is blocking the flow, waiting for a tow truck and the police to show up to fix that problem your dumb ass caused.

It's moving day and you have pulled your pickup truck onto a muddy grassy patch next to the driveway to fill it up with stuff you're moving, and when it's time to pull out, the front wheel bogs down and is now stuck, so instead of waiting for another truck to back up and pull you forwards, what happens? Let's push the pedal down some and sling mud all around the truck and that's going to magically move the truck out of the stuck spot. I watched that happen three days ago when people were moving out of a trailer next to our apartment complex. That was the third truck to get stuck over the past two weeks since all the rain we had that filled up that patch of grass like a tiny pool. It just wasn't sign enough to tell the idiots, don't park your vehicle here it will get stuck, don't try to drive across it either to move it off the property because it will get stuck too. I did laugh at the first truck that got stuck because when the woman got out of the truck after trying to move it backwards and forwards making the truck get stuck further into the ground, she stepped into a huge watery puddle of mud and then fell into it. That was my comic relief for the day and she cussed at me for laughing but it was funny, hell when I fall and I'm not hurt I always laugh at myself, even if I fall into water or mud. 

My favorite "you're a moron" incident was about three years ago. I had just parked my car at the post office to go inside to mail off an important letter, when I heard squealing tires which made me look to make sure my car wasn't about to get slammed into by an idiot driver. They must have been driving at least 40 mph in that parking lot, slowed down only to turn around behind my car, then backed up beside an old dock door which is marked "do not park". I felt myself smirking because I know why it says that, but apparently they don't know why it says it, or why that dock has a pull down door either. Think post office delivery trucks, they got to get the mail into those trucks some way, and there you have it. Anyways, it doesn't take long for me to get my letter taken care of and when I come out to get in my car, there is a police car sitting there blocking the driveway out, which told me that the illegally parked car was in trouble. I pulled out and drove off, but drove slowly because I wanted to see what was going to happen. That's when I noticed the tow truck pulling into the property and I now knew what was going to happen next to the smarty pants who parked where they shouldn't have. Things like that give me satisfaction of justice served in some small way.

I've watched idiots who just couldn't wait to get around the other cars or run a red light go flying into an open manhole and troll along the road with a tire that has blown out and sparks flying everywhere before they pull over to see what's going on. They would have known to avoid that part of the road if they had paid attention to the road signs and those orange and white striped workhorses and barrels with the flashing lights set up around it, but they blew through those and hit what was being barricaded off from the other cars. Shake my head again because it's sad and funny that they screwed up their car on their own stupidity.

In a bank parking lot, the driver of a nice Mercedes who backed up over the curb and up onto a tiny iron post found out real quick how hard it is to get unstuck. He had to call a tow truck to get him unstuck. I was wondering how he didn't hear the back end of the car hitting that post, but you just never know with people these days. 

The weirdest parking scenarios I've seen in person and Facebook posts is smart cars parking where the shop cart returns go on the park lots. I've seen a Volkswagen pulled up there too. I've watched cars and trucks pull right up onto motorcycles parked in spots and then not even bother to move out, they just leave the bike tipped over and halfway under their own vehicle.

Back during the summer, the company that owns the dumpsters came and picked one up from our apartments to replace it or repair it, not sure which , but it was gone for a few days and I noticed a nice, what seemed to be new, pickup truck start parking where that dumpster had been sitting. That's not even part of the parking area to begin with and why someone pulls across a driveway and actual parking lot to park there, is beyond me, but this guy did it for two days before I told him he was parked where the dumpster goes and he might not want to keep parking there because the city or the dumpster company might have him towed, or the truck might decide screw you and put the dumpster down on your truck. I got an awesome go fuck yourself from that one, and just laughed while flipping him off as I went back to the apartment and called the police myself.

Two days later when the dumpster was returned to the property, the truck sat out there for a long time, normally the time they show up is around 3-4 am but I heard the truck noise going on much longer and saw flashing lights. I step outside to see what's going on because this street has a history of police activity anyways, when I realize it's about that truck. Tow truck shows up and pulls this truck off so the dumpster can be placed and the police leave. Two hours later I can hear the driver outside screaming and swearing about who the fuck stole my truck, there's hell to pay for touching my shit man. I wanted to run outside and tell him to call the cops because they're the ones that had your shit towed, but I just snickered inside the apartment. That old adage what comes around goes around playing in my head. 

Ever since I first heard the here's your sign comments from Jeff Foxworthy it's become a staple for me to tell the idiots. Some of them don't really deserve a sign though, the consequences of their stupidity always comes back to kick them in the ass.